present tense

no expectation / no disappointment

no hurry / no waiting

no need to read the past

no intrigue / silence / me

again  / im free

i smile

restless

appear / disappear

in-action / message

you write / i read

silence

closer / further

all at once

questions / in me / no action

no meet / ghostly

i miss / you silent

im restless

 

 

from what I heard lately

“A few times in my life, I’ve had moments of clarity where the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel, rather than think.” Tom Ford

last days

no games, no strategy

being is the way

i might not get the answers, but the ride is worth it

to my sister…

“Sometimes its easier to deal with distance… But how do I do with time? How can I come next to you, If I can’t find you in time…”

 (missing you always, specially today)

thoughts

i hope inspiration finds us together one day

sleepless somewhere? (from what i read lately)

i wonder if anyone thinks of me 

when they can´t fall asleep

el asadito

el asadito del grupo eclectico de los pibes que juegan al futbol mas añadidos

con unos buenos choricitos, entrañas y chimi casero

y el infaltable debate de la mano de un tinto al fuego

con maradona, tinelli, susana y hasta murdoch

casi salvamos al mundo, operamos a la argentina y añadimos un par de frases celebres al guiness!

nada.. lo de siempre.. un domingo de asadito como los de allá, pero acá.

art motto

“i like museums, but not in the serious way”

gracias ceci

 

mute

in silence

status

de lo que escuche esta semana.. “estoy mal, pero lo llevo bien”

a rendezvous

cloud / city / tube / meeting point

i search / i wait

i see / you see / we meet

glass of wine / sigh / relax

chat / laughs

i learn a new smile

i learn new eyes

glass of wine / i smile

your eyes in mine

easiness

time / late / end

walk / arm / touch

fingers play

hand in hand

we said goodbye

we smile

When we met.. again

I was nervous, and a bit shaky… didn’t know what to expect… I walked in, and felt observed, by you, by everyone.

I walked towards you, knowing you know I was waiting for this moment.. for this contact. I lean and kiss you, this time on your cheeks. You hug me.

I kept myself busy with my morning routine. Didn’t think much, although I was intrigued of how you would look. I knew you would dress nicely to make an impact on your return. And gain confidence on your looks. From the corner of my eye, I see someone arriving, and as expected, it was you.

I put my normal “fine” face and go out to welcome you. You look stunning, bit nervous. I hug you, as always, and although I knew you would be menaced by it, I dint’t care. I like hugging you, and always will.

 

I can´t even speak properly.. and try not to be too friendly. What´s the point? Why should I? I move away from your hug, So typical of you. I hate it! The physical contact clashes with my emotional forced detachment. I look into your eyes, say hi, etc etc.. the usual. “Im fine”

Ohh.. there you are at your greatest,.. how I feared you would be. Over confident.. If only you knew how its fades your beauty. I used to love you fragile and spontaneous..

You are defensive.. oh,, whatever!  I will go back to my business. “see you around”

Ahhh. Your eyes. I can never feel free with your eyes are around me. Eye to eye is special with you.. and it erases the distances, the times, everything.

Ok, enough, I need to do what I came for. “See you”. I walk away, I sigh. First stage, done! We have met again.

I see you move around, speak to the people, your friends, its almost as it used to be. Its nice to have you around. I hear your steps, I still recognize the sound of your shoes from my desk. This is like I like to remember you, powerful, talented, hard working, inspired by the details. Walking quickly everywhere.

 

As the hours go by, I start to feel more comfortable, and my soul starts to calm down. Not so nervous. Only annoyed by your coldness. Grrrr… You are sitting there, say nothing, look like bored from behind your glass. From the various eye-contacts you look as if you are sorry for me.. or if as if there is no more feelings for me, not even trace of what we had. You make me angry. How did you walk away so easily and got to let go so fast. I wished I could.. Anyway, Im here, and I will show you how much I´ve moved on. And if there are any doubts, I don’t fall for you anymore!

(days go by.. differences, coffee conversation, hellos, eye-contact)

I wished I could know whats going on with you. But I cant ask, I shouldn’t.. Its seems as if you like being distant, mysterious.. Is it self-preservation or did I loose you?? Is there someone else?

 For me.. its all about self-preservation. Seeing you makes me want to tell you stuff, share inspiration. Even flirt. But I need to remember I have chosen someone else, and its not fair on any of both of you. Bugger!

Once again you leave, and there is no eye-contact. Your are feeling-less. Tomorrow is my last day, and I will be expecting your warmness as I was expecting on the first day. But I can´t think of that.. because you “don’t care”. I need to remember this! He doesn’t care, he doesn’t care! Come on.. I need to be able to read the facts and not dream away.. he has chosen to go, therefore.. he is not there anymore.

Your last day.. in a way, a blessing.. I cant take it anymore. Your presence is distracting me way too much. And I´ve realized you have moved on, my dear.

Good for you. We have tried it once and its doesn’t work, so the best is to see you walk away.

 

Really looking forward to leave now!!! Its been a pleasure, but enough! I thought it would be nice to see you again, but you are boringly cold. Cant believe we had something. I hold my bags and walk to you. There you are: waiting, Im sure happy of seeing me go. Well there you go! Ohhh here it comes.. another hug… oh nooo.. no hug this time! Just your hands on my shoulders and your fake smile.

“Oh well take care, you”. That sounded awful, I know.. I didn’t know what to say.

 

I look at you. Intensely. Just to let you know, that we had something. And you can be as cold as you want, but this look is to remind you, what we had was special!

I blink.

Ayyyyy your eyes.. darling…. there was always  something about your eyes. But you look so distant.. please say something nice, please say something nice.. one for the old times. Come on.. if there is any love left, please say something nice.

 

Im strong, Im strong. I walk away mute less, otherwise I regret anything I say. Therefore, “goodbye”.

Yes.. Yes!! I´ve managed to walk away without being stupid! Good for me!

I start to walk, away.. I miss you already and my heart aches a bit. Shame you really don’t have feelings for me.

Off you go, silent. Ive realized I lost you. There is nothing there left for me. I wished I had hugged you one last time. Goodbye baby, you might not be my today, but you will always be the one.

saying it differently

oui wood low´ve itch utter

my own private dictionary – cont.

 

“what would the airport speaker say”

please go to the shrink gate

 

 

no title

maybe not all has to be said

and we should save something for our eyes

 

 

Barcelona

 

 

my own private dictionary – part III

“what my jumper would say”

hold on & hold me tight

———————-

“what my answering machine would say”

i forgive you but let me go

———————-

“what my passport would say”

leave you, leave me, leave us

———————-

“what my fingers through my hair would say”

what am i going to do with you

my own private dictionary – part II

 

“lo que diría mi postal”

wish you were here

………………………………

“what my rolling eyes mean”

let my go

………………………………

“what my pillow would say”

belle du jour

………………………………

“what my silence means, while I sip my beer”

sorry, i can´t see you from a distance

further means away right now

 

 

My own private dictionary – Part I

“lo que dice el papel del caramelo que te daría”

mi almita no es un yo-yo.

no me empujes,

no te alejes,

no te acerques.

estate conmigo.

 

“lo que diría mi status”

bajo la influencia de tu silencio

“lo que mi mano le dice a la tuya”

I promise

 

“lo que mi pie le dice al tuyo”

please stay a bit longer